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Who Killed Amanda Palmer

by Amanda Palmer

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about

hello listener!
i am currently hosting my music here for FREE / NAME YOUR PRICE...
and this is possible because i am using patreon, a new crowd-support platform
now housing thousands of my listeners who believe in direct arts patronage!
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For additional information including a recording-diary by Amanda, exclusive videos, liner notes, lyrics, and much more, please visit www.whokilledamandapalmer.com

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released September 16, 2008

For a complete list of credits, please visit www.whokilledamandapalmer.com/credits.php

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about

Amanda Palmer Boston

performer, writer, giver, taker, listener, love-lover, rule-hater and co-founder of the Brechtian punk cabaret duo, The Dresden Dolls.

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Track Name: Astronaut
is it enough to have some love
small enough to slip inside a book
small enough to cover with your hand
because everyone around you wants to look

is it enough to have some love
small enough to slip inside the cracks
the pieces don’t fit together so good
with all the breaking and all the gluing back

and i am still not getting what i want
i want to touch the back of your right arm
i wish you could remind me who i was
because every day i’m a little further off

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

and is it getting harder to pretend
that life goes on without you in the wake
and can you see the means without the end
in the random frantic action that we take

and is it getting easy not to care
despite the many rings around your name
it isn’t funny and it isn’t fair
you’ve traveled all this way and it’s the same

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

i would tell them anything to see you split the evening
but as you see i do not have an awful lot to tell
everybody’s sick for something that they can find fascinating
everyone but you
and even you aren’t feeling well

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

YES you are, my love, the astronaut
crashing in the name of science
just my luck they sent your upper half
it’s a very nice reminder
it’s a very nice reminder

(and you may be acquainted with the night
but i have seen the darkness in the day
and you must know it is a terrifying sight
because you and i are living the same way)
Track Name: Runs in the Family
my friend has problems with winter and autumn
they give him prescriptions, they shine bright lights on him
they say it’s genetic, they say he can’t help it
they say you can catch it - but sometimes you’re born with it

my friend has blight he gets shakes in the night
and they say there is no way that they could have caught it in
time takes its toll on him, it is traditional
it is inherited predisposition

all day i’ve been wondering what is inside of me, who can i blame for it

i say:

it runs in the family, this famine that carries me
to such great lengths to open my legs
up to anyone who’ll have me
it runs in the family, i come by it honestly
do what you want ‘cause who knows it might fill me up

my friend’s depressed, she’s a wreck, she’s a mess
they’ve done all sorts of tests and they guess it has something to do with her grandmother’s
grandfather’s grandmother civil war soldiers who
badly infected her
my friend has maladies, rickets, and allergies that she dates back to the 17th century
somehow she manages - in her misery - strips in the city
and shares all her best tricks with

me? well, i’m well. well, i mean i’m in hell. well, i still have my health
(at least that’s what they tell me)
if wellness is this, what in hell’s name is sickness?
but business is business!

and business
runs in the family, we tend to bruise easily
bad in the blood i’m telling you ‘cause
i just want you to know me
know me and my family
we’re wonderful folks but
don’t get too close to me ‘cause you might knock me up

mary have mercy now look what i’ve done
but don’t blame me because i can’t tell where i come from
and running is something that we’ve always done
well and mostly i can’t even tell what i’m running from

i run from their pity
from responsibility
run from the country
and run from the city

i can run from the law
i can run from myself
i can run for my life
i can run into debt

i can run from it all
i can run till i’m gone
i can run for the office
and run from the ‘cause

i can run using every last ounce of energy
i cannot
i cannot
i cannot
run from my family
they’re hiding inside me
corpses on ice
come in if you’d like
but just don’t tell my family
they’d never forgive me
they’ll say that i’m crazy
but they would say anything if it would
shut me up.....
Track Name: Ampersand
i walk down my street at night
the city lights are cold and violent
i am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
even though the world’s so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
and though i am no use to them i do my part by simply smiling

the ghetto boys are cat-calling me
as i pull my keys from my pocket
i wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
has any girl in history said “sure, you seem so nice, let’s get it on”
still i always shock them when i answer “hi, my name’s amanda” and

i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am
and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

i have wasted years of my life
agonizing about the fires
i started when i thought that to be strong you must be flame-retardant
and now to dress the wounds calls into question
how authentic they are
there is always someone criticizing me
she just likes playing hospital

lying in my bed
i remember what you said
“there’s no such thing as accidents...”

but you’ve got the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying
the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying

but i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am

and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

as i wake up - two o’clock - the fire burned the block but ironically
stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
and nobody deserves to die, but you were awful adamant
that if i didn’t love you then you had just one alternative
and i may be romantic
and i may risk my life for it
but i ain’t gonna die for you
you know i ain’t no juliet
and i’m not gonna watch you
while you burn yourself out, baby
no, i’m not gonna stop you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy
Track Name: Leeds United
we watch you your expert double exes
it’s just like you to paint those whiter fences

it’s so polite it’s so polite it’s offensive it’s offensive
it’s so unright it’s so unright it’s a technical accept it

but who needs love when there’s law & order
and who needs love when there’s southern comfort
and who needs love at all

we stalk you your expert double exes
we oxidize you in your sleep there’s no exit there’s no exit

you’re on a roll you’re on a roll no one gets it no one gets it
your honor no your honor can’t you protect us, protect us

but who needs love when there’s law & order
and who needs love when there’s southern comfort
and who needs love
when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the mac store

uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - i’m so excited
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - the blacks and beat kids
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - i’m getting frightened
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh - someday someday leeds united

bugsy malone came to carry you home and they’re taking you all to the doctor
burberry vices all sugary spices it’s nice but it’s not what i’m after
sure, i admire you
sure, you inspire me but you’ve been not getting back so
i’ll wait at the sainbury’s countin’ my change making BANK on the upcoming roster

and we’ll stop you your expert double exes
oh yeah, a big stock holder exxtra cold with 2 X’s
that never talking thing you do is effective it’s effective
your shoulder’s icy colder-oh than a death wish than a death wish

but who needs love when there’s law & order
and who needs love when there’s dukes of hazard
and who needs love
when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the mac store

uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - i’m so excited
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - the blacks and beat kids
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - they’re so excited
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - when i think about leeds uniting
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - i’m getting frightened
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - the blacks, the blacks, the blacks, and beat kids
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - it’s so exciting
uh uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh uh oh - someday, someday, someday, someday, someday, someday

LEEDS UNITED.
Track Name: Blake Says
blake says no one ever really loved him
they just faked it to get money from the government
and blake thinks angels grow when you plant angel dust
he shakes his head and blinks his pretty eyes but trust me
he’s no valentine though he said he would be mine
his heart is in alaska all the time

blake stays underwater for the most part
he collects loose change for all tomorrows parties
and when blake dates girls with tattoos of the pyramids
he breaks their hearts by saying it’s not permanent
but in his velvet mind he believes with all his might
we’ll all go to alaska when we die...

blake makes friends but only for a minute
he prefers the things he orders from the internet
and blake’s been having trouble with his head again
he takes his pills but never takes his medicine
he tells me that he’s fine
and the sad thing is he’s right
and when its 2 o’clock it feels like 9...

blake says he is sorry he got through to me
if it’s ok he’ll call right back and talk to the machine
blake says it looks like acid rain today
he takes the fish inside, he’s very kind that way
and just like caroline
he doesn’t seem to mind
the globe is getting warmer all the time...

it’s still cold in alaska
it’s still cold in alaska
it’s still cold in alaska
Track Name: Strength Through Music
locked in his bedroom
he saw the world
a web of action
and cumshot girls

tick tick tick tick tick

don’t bother blaming
his games and guns
he’s only playing
and boys just want to have fun

he picked a soundtrack
and packed his bag
he hung his walkman
around his neck

tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick tick tick tick

it is so simple
the way they fall
no bang or whimper
no sound at all

tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

boom.
Track Name: Guitar Hero
i can’t get them up, i can’t get them up
i can’t get them up at all

(hey. ho. let. go.)

good morning killer king you’re a star
that’s gorgeous hold it right where you are
the weather’s kinda lousy today
so what oh what oh what’ll we play

stratocaster strapped to your back
it’s a semi-automatic like dad’s
he taught you how to pause and reset
but that’s about as far as you get

so what’s the use of going outside?
it’s so depressing when people die in real life
i’d rather pick up right where we left
making out to faces of death
making out to faces of death

and i could save you, baby, but it isn’t worth my time
and i could make you chase me for a little price is right

it’s a hit but are you actually sure?
the targets in the crowd are a blur
the people screaming just like they should
but you don’t even know if you’re good
you don’t even know if you’re good

so tie them up and feed them the sand
ha nigga! try hard to tell us using your hands
a picture’s worth a million words
and that way nobody gets hurt
and that way nobody gets hurt

and i could save you, baby, but it isn’t worth my time
and i could make you chase me for a little price is right

woo-ah-oo - woo-ooh-ah-oo
woo-ah-ooh ah ohh ah oo

you’re my guitar hero, you’re my guitar hero
you’re my guitar hero, you’re my guitar hero

x marks the box in the hole in the ground that goes off at a breath
so careful don’t make a sound
x marks the box in the hole in your head that you dug for yourself
now lie. in. it.

shut up about all of that negative shit
you wanted to make it and now that you’re in
you’re obviously not gonna to die
so why not take your chances and try
why not take your chances and try?

how do you get them to turn this thing off?
this isn’t at all like the ones back at home
just shut your eyes and flip the cassette
and that’s about the time that they hit
and that’s about the time that they hit

what the fuck is up with this shit?
it’s certainly not worth getting upset
his hands are gone and most of his head
and just when he was getting so good
just when he was getting so good...

and i could save you, baby, but it isn’t worth my time
‘cause even if i saved you there’s a million more in line

woo-ah-oo - woo-ooh-ah-oo
woo-ah-ooh ah ohh ah oo

you’re my guitar hero, you’re my guitar hero
you’re my guitar hero
you’re my guitar hero
Track Name: Have to Drive
i have to drive
i have my reasons, deer
it’s cold outside
i hate the seasons here

i suffer mornings most of all
i feel so powerless and small
by 10 o’clock i’m back in bed
fighting the jury in my head

we learn to drive
it’s only natural, deer
we drive all night
we haven’t slept in years

we suffer mornings most of all
we saw you lying in the road
we tried to dig a decent grave
but it’s still no way to behave

it is a delicate position
spin the bottle
pick the victim
catch a tiger
switch directions
if he hollers
break his ankles
to protect him

we’ll have to drive
they’re getting closer
just get inside
it’s almost over

we will save your brothers we
will save your cousins we will drive them
far away from streets and signs
from all signs of mad mankind

we suffer mornings most of all
wake up all bleary-eyed and sore
forgetting everything we saw

i’ll meet you in an hour
at the car.
Track Name: What's the Use of Wond'rin'?
what’s the use of wond’rin’
if he’s good or if he’s bad
or if you like the way he wears his hat

oh, what’s the use of wond’rin’
if he’s good or if he’s bad
he’s your fella and you love him
that’s all there is to that

common sense may tell you
that the ending will be sad
and now’s the time to break and run away
but what’s the use of wond’rin’
if the ending will be sad
he’s your fella and you love him
there’s nothing more to say

something made him the way that he is
whether he’s false or true
and something gave him
the things that are his
one of those things is you

so when he wants your kisses
you will give them to the lad
and anywhere he leads you, you will walk
and any time he needs you
you’ll go running there like mad

you’re his girl and he’s your fella
and all the rest is talk
Track Name: Oasis
when i got to the party they gave me a forty
and i must have been thirsty
‘cause i drank it so quickly
when i got to the bedroom
there was somebody waiting
and it isn’t my fault that the barbarian raped me

when i went to get tested i brought along my best friend
melissa mahoney (who had once been molested)
and she knew how to get there
she knew all the nurses; they were all very friendly
but the test came out positive

i’ve had better days but i don’t care
‘cause i just sent a letter in the mail

when i got my abortion i brought along my boyfriend
we got there an hour before the appointment
and outside the building were all these annoying
fundamentalist christians; we tried to ignore them

i’ve had better days but i don’t care
oasis got my letter in the mail

when vacation was over
the word was all over that i was a crackwhore
melissa had told them
and so now we’re not talking except we have tickets
to see blur in october and i think we’re still going

i’ve seen better days but i don’t care
oh, i just got a letter in the mail
oasis sent a photograph it’s autographed and everything
melissa’s gonna wet herself i swear
Track Name: The Point of it All
oh, what a noble, distinguished collection of fine little friends you have made
hitting the tables without you again: no we’ll wait, no we promise, we’ll wait
june makes these excellent sewing machines out of common industrial waste
she spends a few days at a time on the couch but she’s fine
she wears shades, she wears shades

but no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my babydoll
and you’re aces for coming along
you’re almost human, after all
and you’re learning that just ‘cause they call themselves friends
doesn’t mean they’ll call...

they made the comment in jest
but you’ve got the needle
i guess that’s the point of it all

maybe a week in the tropics would help to remind you how nice life can be
we propped you right up in a chair on a deck with a beautiful view of the sea
but a couple weeks later we came back and you and the chair were nowhere to be seen
you had magically moved to the closet
eyes fixed to the place where the dryer had been

oh, but no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my babydoll
and you’re aces for coming along
you’re almost human, after all
why on earth would i keep you propped up in here when you so love the fall...?

the pattern’s laid out on the bed
with dozens of colors of thread
but you’ve got the needle
i guess that’s the point in the end

but it’s better to waste your day watching the scenery change at a comatose rate
than to put yourself in it and turn into one of those cigarette ads that you hate
but while you were sleeping some men came around
said they had some dimensions to take
i’m not sure what they were talking about but they sure made a mess of your face

but still, no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my babydoll
and you’re aces for playing along
you’re almost human, even now

and just ‘cause they call themselves experts
it doesn’t mean sweet fuck all...
they’ve got the permanent press
homes with a stable address

and they’ve got excitement
and life by the fistful
but you’ve got the needle
i guess that’s the point of it all
Track Name: Another Year
i tried to fall in it again
my friends took bets and disappeared
they mime their sighing violins
i think i’ll wait another year

i want my chest pressed to your chest
my nervous systems interfere
ten or eleven months at best
i think i’ll wait another year

this weather turns my tricks to rust
i am a lousy engineer
the winter makes things hard enough
i think i’ll wait another year

plus, i’m only 26 years old
my grandma died at 83
that’s lots of time if i don’t smoke
i think i’ll wait another year

i’m not as callous as you think
i barely breathe when you are near
it’s not as bad when i don’t drink
i think i’ll wait another year

i have my new bill hicks cd
i have my friends and my career
i’m getting smaller by degrees
you said you’d help me disappear
but that could take forever
i think i’ll wait another year
it’ll be the best year ever
i think i’ll wait another...

can’t we just wait together?
you bring the smokes, i’ll bring the beer

...i think i’ll wait another year