AFP's Webcastacular NYC Extravaganzaca!

by Amanda Palmer & Friends

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Paralyzing 03:04
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Trust 02:58
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when i was six years old my sister alyson asked for a stove for her birthday a miniature one you could actually cook with and my mom was nice and she bought one alyson needed a reason to bake something barged in my room and she grabbed me she said: "i made a cake and we're going next door to sam weinstein's and you're getting married" the cake was burned it tasted gross she made me kiss him on the mouth now i am 33 unmarried happily no plans in life and i'm planning to keep it that way i do kissing with only one mission do you like to kiss? then you have my permission and i have already spent too much time doing things i didn't want to so if i just want to make out all the time you can bet your black ass that i'm going to when i was nine i was kind of a loser the kids in my class didn't like me melanie chow was the meanest of all and my mom made me go to her party nobody talked to me i sat there quietly drawing with crayons on a napkin a picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork her legs getting eaten by lions the cake was good i took some home i had a party in my room now i have friends and i'm not such a loser but i go to bars all the time and i sit there and order red wine and i write and i like being alone around people yes that's how i like it and i've already spent too much time doing things i didn't want to so if i wanna sit here and write and drink wine you can bet your black ass that i'm going to yes i come here often sure i'll have another one yes i come here often sure i'll have another one but i don't have to talk to you when i was 17 i was a blowjob queen picking up tips from the masters i was so busy perfecting my art i was clueless to what they were after now i'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively) i don't make love now to make people love me but i don't mind sharing my gift with the planet we're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic and when i was 25 i was a rock star but it didn't pay too well i had to strip on the side of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by baby they'd never know what a bargain they'd gotten and if i'm forgotten i'm perfectly happy with all that has happened and i still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me i'm just so glad to hear laughter around me and i've already spent too much time doing things i didn't want to so if i want to drink alone dressed like a pirate or look like a dyke or wear high heels and lipstick or hide in a convent or try to be mayor or marry a writer smoke crack and slash tires make jokes you don't like or paint ducks and retire YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I'M GOING TO

about

Created to promote a NYC-webcast in October 2010.
Read Amanda's blog on the show at bit.ly/blog92810

Featuring music by:
Amanda Palmer - amandapalmer.net
Meow Meow - meowmeowrevolution.com
Lance Horne - lancehorne.com
Zoe Boekbinder - zoeboekbinder.com
and
Bitter Ruin - bitterruin.com

Be sure to follow them all on Twitter, too!
twitter.com/AmandaPalmer / @AFPwire
twitter.com/Meowtopia
twitter.com/LanceHorne
twitter.com/ZoeBoekbinder
twitter.com/BitterRuin

credits

released September 23, 2010

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Amanda Palmer Boston

performer, writer, giver, taker, listener, love-lover, rule-hater and co-founder of the Brechtian punk cabaret duo, The Dresden Dolls.

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