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I don’t want to scare you but we need to talk
It’s only fair that you know a few things about me before we start
And if you determine after learning of this little issue of mine
That you need to go
I won’t be surprised

You strike me as someone who’s seen quite a lot
But in my honest opinion I doubt this’ll work like you thought
There’s something specific I need you to do if you’re up to the task
(Which you don’t seem to be from the way that
You’re still staring back with no change of expression)
But hey — you can give it a shot

I wish I was I wish I was
I wish I wish I wish i was
I wish I was I wish I was
I wash I was afraid because

I’ve seen how people work
I’ve watched them all these years
They are not driven by ambition
All their motors run on fear
Each one afraid of aging, dying
Being lonely, getting caught
They’re terrified of moving on
But scared of staying here

I bared my neck to the teeth of a knife
They’ve held my head under the water for minutes — I didn’t mind
I’ve been blind, bound and tied at the mercy of strangers,
they beat me, whatever
My heart didn’t race — I was fine

I got them to hang me from terrible heights
They took me to places of poverty, malice, unspeakable
war — I have seen people die
They left me at night in the heart of the forest, the air full of noises,
The creatures that eat us just feet from my face,
As their wild cries sounded, and darkness surrounded
And still I did not bat an eye

I wish I was I wish I was
I wish I was afraid because
I wish I was I wish I was
Afraid afraid afraid because
I wish I was I wish because
I wish I was afraid because
I wish I was I wish I was
I wish I was afraid because
I wish I was I wish I was
I wish I was afraid because
I wish I wish I wish because
If you’re not scared, you’re not in love


from Sketches For the Musical JIB, released September 13, 2016


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Amanda Palmer Boston

performer, writer, giver, taker, listener, love-lover, rule-hater and co-founder of the Brechtian punk cabaret duo, The Dresden Dolls.


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